untitled

السلام علايكم

Something is bothering me but I cant seems to find the perfect way to express it all out.
I keep on typing and deleting.
There's so much to say, I'm getting confuse myself.
There's so little that I can reveal.
The me-of-my-past keeps on resurfacing. But the me-of-my-present keeps on fighting. I just hope it wont stop resisting.
Somehow, the me-of-my-past gained strength.
I fell. Once. Twice. Thrice. Countless times.
Its getting harder to get up each time.
The old saying is true.
"old habit dies hard"
It'll die, eventually. But when it will, how much energy it consumes, I dont even know.
I just hope I wont give it all up.
It has crossed my mind once. Okay, not once. More than once, to just let it all go, give myself up, let it consumes everything I've been building.
And I did, for a while. Until I was knocked & regain self control.
But I doubt the help are available each time I fall down.

But my-dear-old-life-philosophies, please, disappear.

Wassalam 안녕